nervous college breakdown prt 2

so i just thought of something
i just dont know how to say it with out completely saying it.
maybe i shouldnt have started this post...hmmm...im three lines into the post and now four so what the hell here goes *breathe*
I DONT KNOW HOW TO DEAL
first il start off with school...my english professor is a bitch..she is a bitch becasue she is right. im an honors student. there are things that are expected of me and i havnt been doing them. i disappoint my self and i guess hearing the truth completley cut me deep.
it faced me with my recklessness of my education...i hate it when im the blame for the things that are holding me back..and i guess beating myself up about it isnt going to change the fact that i fucked up. yes FUCKED UP. i guess i just have to move on *sigh*
second thing....o0o0o0 how do i state this...i cant...
no se porque me siento asi....