hypocrisy is golden

i was looking online(pathetically) for a pick me up and i came across some sayings(bullshit..might i add) but nonetheless popular. first one goes --> "its OK to cry"(lies). salty tears stain cheeks with salty streaks then travel to lips which will form salty kisses and my emotions will still be on edge. and to cry in front of those that have hurt me would be a betrayal to my person. heres another one --> "crying is emotionally healthy"(what grade A quack psychologist came up with this) they should be pummeled right along with the person that said "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me"( yes they do asshole). another bull shit saying is "pain is only temporary" well from personal experience days which have turned into months which may progress into a year or two is a pretty long time for temporary. so this is my new motto "fake it" though you may be decaying on the outside where a plastic smile...does it make your heart any less sour? (NO) but its better than giving someone the satisfaction of knowing they got under your skin. wwhen someone asks you if you are ok though your soul is screaming lyrical hymns of pain tell the lil fucker to stay quite and lie..say your happy, voicing out your brokenness wont make you any less broken..instead give your problems to God or for the non believers blog it out...or what ever you decide to do..just stop being pathetic..

one day......

one day...i will finally reach the end of the vodka bottle...or maybe the jager bottle. plastic smiles will be replaced by genuine ones and that whole in my heart might actually be plastered. one day il stop contorting into an emotional wrecking ball away from the stares of others bc god forbid i let them see me cry, but one day they will know that i do have a heart and that it was worn on my sleeves the whole time. one day i will hang up my cape bc my days of playing super woman are long gone. one day i will reach out my hands and instead of attempting to touch the soul of anothers i will allow these hands to rescued bc lord know i the need help. one day brown eyes will stop pouring tears that reflect the broken person i am and one day il stop missing him... no..one day i wont want to miss him bc hopefully by then i would have realized there is more to life than him. one day i will be able to write a proper poem and not the cliche im sad poem even though i am the cliche..i am sad. but one day il be ok...until that day i have my shot glass my vodka and my jager, and until that day il just keep searching for the bottom.